Lately thats exactly how I have been feeling, its so confusing, the fact that I'm in the middle of a life changing experience, but at the same time am so used to and comfortable where I am, which is at home. but that sense of familiarity makes me feel like I've come to a halt in my artistic ability? if thats the right word? I feel stuck, lost, but at the same time excited to start a new journey in a different place that gives me inspiration like never before.
I think its those voices that are beginning to attack me.. you know.. the ones that tell you you're never gonna make it, that there are so many others like you out there, what are the chances that you are going to be the one who shines out of a million people!!! I hate those dang voices.. they are so over whelming and convincing.
And then I think to myself... either way I'm going to age, I'm going to be 30, 40, 50... whats the point of not following my dream, when in the end all I can take with me are my memories.
I guess its mostly because I don't know where to begin, how to get my work out there.. who do I show it to? what am I supposed to do?
I mean I could start doing work for people and selling my original pieces, but that is such a difficult thing to do. These paintings are a part of who I am and who I've come to be... perhaps thats what is holding me back.. I'm stuck in the past...
I need to figure this out soon..
I should go to bed...
xx-rina
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